Choices and Consequences

today was MUCH better than yesterday. why??? it all comes down to the choices i make...

 i have been exTREMEly tired this week. ALL week. fatigue is my greatest enemy. as much as i love sleeping, i'd rather be piddling in my Art Room working on my "Sketchbook Project", which i am very "behind" in, going for a run in cool weather that is nonexistent, planning out meals for the coming week, or a whole host of other things.

anyways, my choice yesterday for breakfast -brownie torte -pales largely in comparison to today's choice, V8 w/greens powder for a good wake-me-up, followed by oatmeal with protein powder and flax seed. pretty scary, huh? i'm realizing that so much of my health hinges on split second decisions- ones that are helpful to be awake for, which yesterday obviously i wasn't.

for so long my quest for health has consisted of attempting a healthy diet coupled with a good amount of exercise. 

but FOR ME this doesn't work long term.

~

it all becomes so masochistic and routine that, about every 3 weeks, i grow tired of it all and rebel against all the progress i have made.

~

NOW

i'm finally understanding that i have to take care of me- not simply follow the "do's" and resist the "dont's"

SO HERE'S A SYNOPSIS OF MY RECENT PROGRESS:

1. i eat what i want
2. i only eat when i am hungry
3. i am consciously present when i eat
4. i make lunches for myself so i don't snack all day long
5. i fix dinner if i actually have the energy to do so
6. i prepare food ahead of time
7. i LOVE food!

...i have to admit, food does still kind of scare me some. just b/c of my struggles in the past with resisting the "bad" stuff, i'm still learning that i can trust myself to make wise decisions to fuel my body and to listen to it when i choose what to eat. enough of that.

AND EVEN MORE PROGRESS:

1. i take time to read (b/c i love to do it, so why not?? it's all about prioritizing)
2. i take time to notice the little things in life that i often missed before
3. i workout or am purposefully active every day in order to boost my serotonin levels and endorphins
4. i drink tea - hot or cold, i love the antioxidants and calming effects!
5. when i carve out time to do something that is intrinsically ME, i protect it and celebrate it!
6. i EMBRACE and accept chaos instead of running from it! what a concept...

it's all about being present in this life God has blessed me with. before, as i was seeking and searching for the next big, new thing to "accomplish" or "conquer", i was living in a tunnel. i didn't take time to look around, to just be. it was all about finding, completing, being better. 

so guess what.

now i know i'm best right where i am, right now.

i have nowhere to "go" but lots to "do".

i'm so tired of being excited about a life i haven't been living.

i'm ready to live a life i'm excited to BE in.

...back to my opening statement. CHOICES.

it's really tough being a married woman who takes care of children for a living.

some people call it being a mom but i'm only a full-time nanny.

this is where taking care of myself comes in.

because i get SO tired taking care of everyone else.

i know full-well the consequences of my actions in regards to my health- if what goes in isn't pretty, what i feel like the rest of the day isn't pretty and i DO NOT like feeling less than stellar!

believe me, i know my body from the inside out.

LET'S JUST SAY IF I'M DOING WHAT I KNOW I NEED TO IN ORDER TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, brownie torte would never make its way into my mouth at 6:30 in the morning.

just sayin...

i'm worth a little more than that!!