A Road I didn't Plan

there's been a stirring in my heart the past few weeks.

it all started at church when our pastor challenged us, 

"is your lack of activity really apathy disguised as surrender?"

i knew the answer, yes, i'd known it for a while. but life was easier that way, wasn't it? i knew it wouldn't last- it never does. yet i always hope...

it's dumbfounding how another's actions towards me can spell out my attitude towards God so emphatically. blatantly. i guess that's how He has to speak to me if i'm not reading it in His Word. He WILL make his point clear, that i know full well.



if i were really transparent and honest, i'd have to say a few days ago it was pretty piercing to hear my friend tell my son how i was 'the real deal'. i don't think i have been. at the time in my son's life when it's so important.
and that really saddens me.

i think it may be time to get rid of some distractions in my life .

last night i heard this song on the radio and that was it... i knew the battle had begun again.ugh.

and the swords came blazing...
sometimes i just have no patience for the lies that Satan plants in searching hearts.

11 "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 "Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 13 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. 14 "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; 15 nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. - Mat 5:11-16 NASB


there's no other way around it. i will proclaim it til the day i die.





sometimes it's just so unnerving how close it hits to home...

Momma's Holiday Cranberry Sauce

(yes, i know it's summer and we are a long ways from the holidays, but please, read on...)

it's always a pretty good indication that i need to get cooking again when i open the fridge and have a hard time finding anything that a good meal can consist of... oh the life of ridding oneself of convenience foods...
(i think it's about time i schedule a cooking day so this doesn't happen to me every.single.week, ha!)

well, speaking of ridding our home of convenience foods, there's actually room in the freezer now! but that's not all... this means i can actually SEE what all is in there too!! double excitement. ESPECIALLY when i set eyes on my cranberries, that i bought  at ungodly low prices after the holidays, and froze for use at such a time like this. Mmmmmm!

"cranberries in the summertime?", you might say. and i say, "YES! absolutely!!". in my opinion, there is nothing quite so refreshing and invigorating as a bowl of good 'ol momma's holiday cranberry sauce in the dead of summer. if you can find them, that is. (i ran into that predicament last year about this time so this year i'm prepared.) if you can't find any that are fresh, sometimes grocery stores will sell them in the freezer section. happy hunting! if nothing else, this is an AWESOME go-to recipe for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

enough babbling (can you tell i'm excited?), here goes...


Ingredients:
1 bag (12oz) cranberries
1 large seedless Orange
honey or other sweetener of choice

Directions:
Put cranberries in a food processor and chop into small peanut-size pieces. Remove cranberries and then put the whole orange (you can cut into pieces, as shown, but use the rind too!) in and process until rind is chopped up nicely and incorporated.

  

Combine the cranberries and orange in a bowl and mix in honey to taste. I use 1-2Tb but I do LOVE sour things so you may prefer a bit more. The point is to decrease the sourness from the cranberries but it is supposed to have a tangy flavor. It's like natural, healthy Sour Patch Kids!! haha.

TaDa!!! YUMMY! (i sprinkled some walnuts on top since i had some already chopped up to make some more breakfast cookies)

Peanut Butter, Oat and Flax Energy Cereal

a few months ago it was brought to my attention how HORRIBLE boxed cereal is for our bodies! take a look:

"Boxed breakfast cereals are some of the most toxic, unhealthy foods you can possibly buy at the grocery store.   Believe it or not, organic brands are the absolute worst!

The reason is that the violent processing required to make boxed cereal (called extrusion) is so high in temperature and pressure that the proteins in the grains are completely denatured and rendered toxic from the ordeal.   Organic boxed cereal is the most toxic of all because it is whole grain and therefore higher in protein!

Toxic foods are frequently the most addictive (think MSG and aspartame/nutrasweet), so even though it is difficult, you simply must eliminate these foods from your pantry for good!"

~The Healthy Home Economist

so since reading this and doing some research myself, i've been on the lookout for homemade cereal that doesn't take a lot of time to make and actually tastes GOOD. in addition to yesterday's Slow Cooker Fruit and Nut Granola this is another recipe that i've actually been making about weekly for the past 2months. not that i'm addicted or anything... ha.

i originally found this recipe (from this blog) in the form of Energy Bites. i have found, though, that it lasts longer for me if i eat it like cereal and i actually like i better that way too. ever since i became pregnant i'm a much bigger fan of milk than i used to be- and that's added protein anyways- so this is how i eat it. MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT. that's just how good it is! haha. below is my version of the recipe- i make about 50% more at a time- with my normal decreased amount of sugar and inclusion of additional grains... 

Ingredients:
1 1/4c oats

3/4c oat bran
2/3c coconut
1c ground flaxseed

3/4c peanut butter

1/2c chocolate chips

1/4c honey
1tsp vanilla

Directions:
Stir all ingredients together until thoroughly mixed and chill in the refrigerator. 

now how easy is THAT??!

Slow Cooker Fruit and Nut Granola

i believe i'm in the middle of a love affair with my Crock Pot.

while i've been very much enjoying making my own snacks, staples and pantry items instead of relying on preservative/chemical filled foods from the grocery store, one thing i do NOT enjoy is a hot house during the  Summertime! to avoid this uncomfortable affect of baking during the heat waves of Florida's summer i normally just prep everything during the day and then put it in the oven at night after the sun goes down. yes, this is a bit inconvenient and requires some planning ahead. ENTER: the CROCK POT. the miracle mini-oven. i LOVE that it takes such little energy and everything can be cooked right there in that tiny (compared to an oven) space of a pot.
VOILA! Dinner!!


OR... BRRRREAKFAST!!! yes, that's right... Breakfast in a Crock Pot!

Ingredients:
5c oats
1c nuts, chopped (i used walnuts)
1c dried fruit
3/8c sweetener (i used 1/8c honey + 1/4c agave nectar )
1/2c seeds (sunflower, pumpkin, etc.)
4 Tb butter (next time i'm going to try coconut oil... of course)
1/4c coconut
2 tsp cinnamon

Directions:

Place all ingredients in slow cooker and set to high for 2-3 hours. Place a chopstick or other utensil under the lid so it doesn’t close all the way. Check and stir the granola around every 30 minutes, or when it becomes fragrant. Once it looks a bit browned and toasted, it’s ready to go. Turn off slow cooker, let granola cool, then store in airtight bag in fridge.

*This recipe makes cereal-like granola – if you like really clumpy, trail-mix granola, and aren't so concerned with fat and sugar content, add more sweetener and butter.

Bon Appetit, my friends!

(recipe adapted from here)

Breakfast "Cookies"

SO when every two weeks you end up with a laundry basket FULL of produce (courtesy of the fruit/veggie co-op i'm a part of), some of it is just bound to go bad... or almost. i've searched high and low for a GOOD, healthy way to use up overly ripe bananas and have FINALLY found it! (recipe adapted from this blog)
(ps- one day i had 2 of these and they tied me over until 2pm! well, ok, i also had some of my green smoothie with the first one and was pretty darn ready for another meal by 2 o'clock but still, i think that's pretty good for a cookie ;) GREAT wholesome option for on-the-go snacking if you get my drift!)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups regular rolled oats
1/4 cup of almond meal
1/2 cup ground flax seeds
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/2 cup coconut flakes
1/2 cup mixed nuts, finely chopped
1 cup dried fruit 

3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:Preheat oven to 350*F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. 

1. In a large bowl, combine rolled oats, ground flax seed, almond meal, salt, allspice and cinnamon.

2. Add in nuts, coconut and dried fruit and stir until well and evenly mixed. Make sure the dried fruit do not stick together in big batches.

(i had some leftover "trail mix" i'd made up of almonds, dates and cranberries so just chopped them all up together in my food processor before adding them into the cookie mix)

3. In another bowl, combine coconut oil, mashed banana and vanilla extract.

(i do things the hard way so mashed my bananas after putting everything together in the bowl)

4. Pour wet ingredients over dry ingredients and stir until well combined. 

5. Drop by spoonful onto cookie sheet and bake for about 20 minutes or until edges are golden brown.

~VOILA!!!!~
a NO-CARB added solution for those bananas! YUMMY!!!

Note: although i used almonds because that's what i had on hand- and needed to use up- they were AMAZING in these cookies! after being baked in the oven they had a "toasted" almond taste and aroma... mmmmm!

No Pressure

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do you ever have those days when you KNOW all your body needs is a salad but NOTHING in you really wants one??? that just happened to me. and guess what i'm eating?! a SALAD! ha. how did that happen? it's this thing called reverse psychology that went a little like this:

need lunch... open fridge (nope, nope, nope, nope- nothing looks good)
go to cabinet... pull out chips- YUM! hmmm, cheese sounds good with these and i bet i could eat a salad too.
5mins later i've got a HUGE salad in my hands w/cheese on top and my chips on the side! self-trickery... that's what i call it!

(ps- the chips are "clean". LOVE Trader Joe's!!!)

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haha. really though... i was just talking to my friend about this concept the other day. about how allowing yourself to "cheat" often takes away the desire to really actually do it. the conversation we had was more about getting our weekly workouts in and i expressed how i was feeling REALLY exhausted and was gonna give myself a pass again- for the third day in a row. after we got off the phone i was thinking to myself, "hey, you know, i really kinda want to workout now! even if it's just 10minutes." the result? i ended up working out for 18minutes!! same thing as the salad- by not pressuring myself, making myself feel obligated, i still made the RIGHT CHOICE and was HAPPY about it. if i pressure myself into doing the right thing then i usually end up hating every minute of it. self-love and tenderness is SUCH a better way to go!!!

now, granted, this concept can be taken to an extreme, as in just being lazy, but that is where self-awareness and being willing to be honest with yourself comes in. it takes a little practice in being able to discern if you are just making excuses or if you really do need to insert a little self-acceptance WITHOUT that salad or workout. BUT it's SOOO important  to be able to disconnect your identity or self-esteem by what you DO. being proud of your accomplishments is one thing, but finding your whole being in them is another!

you must know that i have not gotten to this place over night. just take a look at the first year or two of posts on this blog and you can follow the journey i have taken on my quest for balance. it's POWERFUL! i look back at those posts and see really how far i've come. i was in a VERY unhealthy state at that point in my life but what progress has taken place over the past couple years! it is time-consuming and tough but SO worth it! i'm VERY thankful that i have taken the opportunity to invest time and energy into this area of health for myself. we as women so often spend our days always caring for those around us- making their world go round and stay in one piece- that we forget to invest in caring for ourselves and our world on top of all of it.

food for thought. i hope that you will decide to do this for yourself as well. you are worth it. just the way you are, right now. if a good starting point for you is reading some of my earlier posts to see how i've come to this point then i'd be SO happy that my story and struggles and victories could help make a difference in someone else's life. there's enough hate in the world already and we should NOT be hating ourselves, the way we look, the goals we haven't met, etc. (and, yes, it is hard to admit that self-hate is really the issue but sometimes- like in my life- that is the reality and it needs to be admitted before it can be overcome.) i am so passionate about this because i struggled for SOO long and i KNOW the insanity that can take place in the mind, soul, and being because of all the pressures to be "beautiful", "perfect", "ideal" that are put on us as women. it doesn't need to be that way and it CAN change! i am proof!!

you are ALREADY enough!!!

Thoughts for Today

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"Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have walked in my integrity, And I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.
Examine me, O LORD, and try me; Test my mind and my heart. For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, And I have walked in Your truth.
I do not sit with deceitful men, Nor will I go with pretenders. I hate the assembly of evildoers, And I will not sit with the wicked.
I shall wash my hands in innocence, And I will go about Your altar, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving And declare all Your wonders.
O LORD, I love the habitation of Your house And the place where Your glory dwells.
Do not take my soul away along with sinners, Nor my life with men of bloodshed, In whose hands is a wicked scheme, And whose right hand is full of bribes.
But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; Redeem me, and be gracious to me. My foot stands on a level place; In the congregations I shall bless the LORD.
- Psa 26:1-12 NASB

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