A Road I didn't Plan

there's been a stirring in my heart the past few weeks.

it all started at church when our pastor challenged us, 

"is your lack of activity really apathy disguised as surrender?"

i knew the answer, yes, i'd known it for a while. but life was easier that way, wasn't it? i knew it wouldn't last- it never does. yet i always hope...

it's dumbfounding how another's actions towards me can spell out my attitude towards God so emphatically. blatantly. i guess that's how He has to speak to me if i'm not reading it in His Word. He WILL make his point clear, that i know full well.



if i were really transparent and honest, i'd have to say a few days ago it was pretty piercing to hear my friend tell my son how i was 'the real deal'. i don't think i have been. at the time in my son's life when it's so important.
and that really saddens me.

i think it may be time to get rid of some distractions in my life .

last night i heard this song on the radio and that was it... i knew the battle had begun again.ugh.

and the swords came blazing...
sometimes i just have no patience for the lies that Satan plants in searching hearts.

11 "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12 "Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 13 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. 14 "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; 15 nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. - Mat 5:11-16 NASB


there's no other way around it. i will proclaim it til the day i die.





sometimes it's just so unnerving how close it hits to home...