So This is Christmas...

my pastor said something last Sunday that i have found quite profound...

"often you will find that most everyone is fine and happy about Jesus in the mangerbut when you put Him on a cross, people have a problem with that."

that's the way it is isn't it? we want to stay in a place of simplicity.

 for when we come to the hard, difficult truths of life we shy away and run into the arms of all we used to know to be pleasant and safe and painless. 

easy, simple, manageable.

but really, is that what life is about???

being able to manage it?

i am convinced without a doubt that it is just the opposite.

this year has not been easy for me. not one bit.

yet i have grown by leaps and bounds- on a monthly basis- and let me tell you, God is squeezing in all He can out of the last few days of this year.

but see, it is out of the hardships, the pain, the grief, the tears and mourning that i HAVE grown. perhaps simply because i CHOSE to make that hard decision to not run.

at the very beginning of my blog i wrote about learning to stay. stay in the pain, stay in the chaos, stay in the ups and downs of life. that has been a really massive theme of my life this year and maybe just now i'm realizing, gratefully, that that theme has an essay that surrounds it.

in these last few days of the year i am facing some of the toughest hurts and emotions of my life and as once again i was COMPELLED without choice to open my Bible to find the strength to function i've been struck by SO many words:

"O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; and by night, but I have no rest. YET You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; They trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed."

and it's TRUE. 

not only have i seen the Lord come through in my own life time and time again in His faithfulness but there is an ENTIRE book the size of 10 novels just overflowing with testimony of His never-ending faithfulness.

and why is it we think we, as Christians can make all the 'right' decisions to pave the way to a picture-perfect life? i don't know, maybe i'm the only one. but seriously, just LOOK at the lives of the people in the Bible. i'm not going to say that almost every one of them committed horrible sins but, well, let's just say God didn't leave us without example of bad decisions gone wrong. who am i kidding?? 

anyways, of course the pain is still there, but i'm also reminded of the man Job. simply ASTOUNDING the hurt and pain he went through- simply to prove to Satan, before God, that he would remain faithful no matter what his circumstances. now THAT is a challenge! and the words of his that are the most unbelievable are in response to his wife's suggestion to curse God and die. to this he replies:

"...you speak as one of the foolish women speaks. shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity also?"

indeed.

and as we think about Christmas and the Christ child i was reminded last

night at the Christmas Eve service of one of my favorite

names of God that comes up much more often around

Christmastime-

'Emmanuel'

meaning

"God with Us"

really, that's all i need to know.