the question is, what exactly does it mean to be someone?
i can hardly say it is to be a soccer champion like i used to think.
or to use one of my talents in a way to 'make it big'.
to be a Star period, really.
i think more than all the fame or success i could ever accomplish THIS is who i want to be
EXACTLY WHO I AM.
i was thinking today how extraordinary my life has truly become~
the friend who never leaves.
the words i release without expectation that somehow always never return void.
the countless 'kids' i have the blessing of having without ever having given birth.
the countless number of friends, in all corners of the country, that somehow never dissipates.
i guess it's that ability to have a hand on the lives of so many people.
to have a life so intricately interlaced with so many others' lives without really being there.
to be the person that steps into a life and whose footprints never leave.
i guess i am someone.
someone, at least, that people do not often forget.
maybe that's a bad thing, i don't know, ha.
i feel really blessed.
i don't have any idea at all how my life has ended up here.
when i really think about it, though, i DO have exactly what i want.
i feel like i'm accomplishing EXACTLY what the Lord created me for-
maybe in a very small way but nonetheless it's impacting and THAT'S what matters.
to be His "hands and feet".
those closest to me know how my life could've ended up if the Lord hadn't gotten a hold of my heart those many years ago. deep down i am self-seeking and envious of being in a position where i am 'known' and 'respected'. but, at some point, He truly showed me what it is to "Delight yourself in the Lord" so that the "Desires of [my] Heart" could be realized.
...and i suppose it was that initial step of faith, believing He COULD fulfill me and BE everything i need, that has allowed my dreams of 'Being Someone' to be realized.
not in the way i initially desired, of course, but in a REAL, meaningful way. the ONLY way that matters.
LIVES.
what is a life?
a gift? a free-for-all? meaningless?
i believe life is a gift.
but it's that kind of gift that takes you awhile to really figure out a. how to put it together, b. what it's purpose is, and c. whether or not it's useful to you as its original intention.
life can be confusing. downright disheartening and frustrating and hopeless. but i KNOW for a fact that the Bible is all-sufficient for any and every obstacle faced in this journey. the greatest desire of my life is to shine a light on the truth of God's word amidst the rocky terrain and storms that my friends find themselves in.
these days truth is so obsolete.
why??? because a one-book answer is too simple?
"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin." ~Heb. 4:15
although i am in no way a fanatic in my beliefs i am also no liberal.
"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,
with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." ~2 Tim. 2:24-26
it is not my job to judge or oppose but to speak the truth and let the Holy Spirit do the work. we are in a spiritual battle, after all.
"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do." ~Heb 4:12-13
so that's my passion.
living a life according to its original intent, with ambitions for eternal purpose yet also allowing my friends to be involved in MY ups and downs and struggles and questions along this journey as well.
i have lived A LOT. done things i never REALLY ever dreamed of doing.
but i haven't even realized it til now because :
1. i was too busy doing
2. i was too busy becoming
when in reality i am coming to the realization that there is nothing more to become.
i AM who i am supposed to be and AM doing what i always really dreamed of.
~NOW THAT'S EXTRAORDINARY~
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Loving your blog and that I found it. Simply beautiful, friend.
ReplyDeleteSo often we want to "Be Someone". What we really mean (whether we realize it or not)is that we want to be someone else. We forget that we ARE someone, and since we're trying to be someone else, we don't make much of what we are. The person God made, whom he wants to flurish.
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