Goodbyes

it's always a catch 22...

those blessings we are fortunate to experience in life.

for me, one of those things was the amazing opportunity to have grown up within 5 miles of both sets of my grandparents, and though something i'm MORE than grateful for, something that makes saying goodbye to them that much harder.

it's been almost exactly 9 years since i lost two of my grandparents within 5 weeks of each other- long enough to have forgotten how painful it is.

but this goodbye is SO much harder. because we've known it's been coming. anticipated. yet holding out hope we'd have at least another year.

one more Thanksgiving, one more Christmas, one more visit.

i think deep down when i left her house just a couple short weeks ago, i knew it would be the last meal, the last hug, the last goodbye wave as i drove away.

(and maybe they weren't but you just can never be so sure)

and with such a seemingly rapid decline, this past week, i can't help but wonder if that was her last hope. to meet another great-grandchild. to see a last promise of her faithfulness to her family. to be assured her work is done and it's time to move on into the place of her heart's greatest desire...

the selfish part of me wants to plead with God to keep her around for just a while longer. but deep down i just want her to go as peacefully as possible, to be taken from the pains of her aging, sick body and of being separated from her lifelong mate. and most of all i want her to finally be able to fulfill her dream of meeting her Lord and to be welcomed into his loving arms out of the pain and disappointments of this world, into the peace, perfection, and comfort of the next.

she has lived such a faithful life and i couldn't be more proud of her. more thankful for such a wonderful example of what it truly means to live by faith and in GOD's strength.

(how is it that time always truly flies by too fast the last years of a loved one's life? and isn't noticed til only then?)

i only hope i can bear this time of heartache in the same fashion and with the same grace that my grandmother has exhibited
over the course of her life...

and continue to find my hope and peace in the assurance that we will be reunited in perfect harmony and contentment one day, together in the presence of our Savior

as Family, bound through the blood that is o so much more powerful than that which flows through our mortal bodies...

Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, "DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. "O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. - 1Cor 15:51-58 NASB